As a parent, witnessing your child engage in repetitive movements, sounds, or behaviors, often referred to as stimming, can be confusing or even concerning at times. If your child is on the autism spectrum, stimming is likely something you see regularly. But what many people do not realize is that stimming is not exclusive to autism. In fact, neurotypical (non-autistic) individuals stim, often without even noticing it. 

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, refers to repetitive actions such as hand-flapping, rocking, humming, or repeating words or phrases. For autistic individuals, these behaviors are a natural and meaningful way to manage their internal experiences. Stimming can help regulate emotions, particularly during moments of stress or excitement. It can also help process overwhelming sensory input and provide a sense of control in situations that feel unpredictable. In many cases, stimming is simply how an autistic child expresses joy, frustration, or even focus. 

For autistic children, stimming is not just a habit, it is often an essential coping mechanism. It allows them to manage sensory overload, especially in environments that are noisy, bright, or chaotic. It provides emotional relief during anxiety-provoking situations and helps them stay calm or focused when navigating the world around them. Expressing excitement or frustration through stimming may also feel far more intuitive for a child with autism than using words. Instead of trying to stop or discourage these behaviors, it is important to ask why they are happening. What is your child experiencing at that moment? Often, stimming serves a valuable and even therapeutic function. Rather than focusing on eliminating the behavior, the goal should be to understand its purpose and to support the child in a way that allows them to feel safe and regulated. 

It’s also helpful to remember that stimming is a very human behavior and is not something limited to autism. Neurotypical people stim all the time, though it is often considered more socially acceptable and therefore goes unnoticed.  

Consider the following scenario: You are sitting in a meeting at work. The presentation is long, boring, and maybe does not really relate to your position in particular. As the presentation drags on, you find yourself tapping your pen lightly against the table in a rhythmic pattern. You may twirl a strand of hair around your finger without realizing it. You could even bounce or shake your foot because that is something you have done since you were a child. These repetitive movements help you stay focused and calm while you listen to the rest of the meeting. 

Personally, whenever I am on the phone, especially for longer conversations, I automatically start pacing. It is not something I consciously decide to do; it just happens. The moment the call connects, I am up and walking, usually back and forth across the same narrow path in my living room. My husband has even joked that he is shocked that I have not worn a groove into the floor by now. 

It is like moving helps me think more clearly or focus better on what the other person is saying. If I try to sit still, I get fidgety and distracted. But when I am pacing, my thoughts seem to flow more freely. It is my phone-call ritual at this point — walk, talk, turn, repeat. 

These are all examples of self-stimulatory behavior. They help us focus, relieve nervous energy, or soothe ourselves when feeling anxious. Recognizing this can help us better understand and normalize stimming in autistic children. If it is acceptable for neurotypical people to stim in subtle ways, then autistic children should also be allowed to stim, yes, that is even if their behaviors are more visible or unconventional. 

Supporting a child who stims means meeting them where they are. Instead of rushing to stop the behavior, consider whether it is actually causing harm or distress. In many cases, this is not the case. Creating an environment where your child feels safe to stim whether it be at home or in other sensory-friendly spaces, it can make a huge difference in their well-being. Pay attention to what triggers stimming and what emotions accompany it. This can provide important insight into how your child experiences the world. If a certain form of stimming is physically harmful or disruptive, working with an occupational therapist can help you find alternative behaviors that meet the same sensory or emotional needs in a safer way. It’s also helpful to educate siblings, teachers, and other family members about stimming so your child is not unfairly judged or discouraged from expressing themselves. 

Ultimately, stimming is a natural part of being human. For children with autism, it is a vital tool for expression, regulation, and connection with the world around them. Rather than viewing stimming as something to be corrected, we should approach it with curiosity, understanding, and acceptance. Every child deserves the freedom to be themselves, and for some children, that means flapping their hands, humming softly, or rocking gently in their chair. These are not signs of something wrong. They are signs of a child doing exactly what they need to do to feel okay. 

If you are ever uncertain about how to respond to your child’s behaviors, reach out to your clinical team. With the right knowledge and compassionate support, you can help your child thrive just as they are.